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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

God, Health and Miracles


Are you, or someone you know, facing ill health? Often, this can bring most difficult times. None of us wants to endure the hardships brought on by illness. Yet, illness comes!

I would like to share with you one story. It is a personal one. It is a story that illustrates the conflicting feelings one has during times of great crisis. It is also a story of one beautiful lady who continues to face illness with great courage, faith and even cheerfulness  It reflects the many emotions one feels when required to face illness or even to face God. It is the story of my dear wife, Susan, who continues to face challenges of enormous proportions. It is a story of her great faith and determination. It may well be your story also!

It was just six years ago that Susan suffered her first stroke, while we were stationed in Chicago. She already had experienced two heart attacks. Little did we know, at the time, what was to be over the next few years.

The doctors explained that she had damage to both the left and right frontal lobes of the brain. Since that portion of the brain controls behavior and inhibitions, she would most likely experience behavioral changes. Gradually that proved true and we began a very unpleasant journey faced with daily challenges.

Eventually she was unable to fulfill her responsibilities and had to remain at home. At the time, our leaders were very understanding, however, it would not be long and she would require that I be at home with her 24/7.

Of course, this presented many problems for both of us as it pertained to our ministry. Eventually, some decisions had to be made. I discussed the matter with our Divisional Commander (Bishop) and he inquired for us as to the possibility of retiring early. Later he shared with us that, although we were just three and a half years from full retirement, early retirement would not be considered as we had only thirteen years of officer service. He suggested that I stay at home with my wife, for the time being, and give the matter some thought. No other options were brought up or discussed. Two months later we submitted our resignations to be effective in June.

This was a very emotional time for both of us. The Army was very generous to us, providing a separation grant that would get us through the transition back to 'civilian' life, however, there would be no monthly retirement income or health benefits and we would not be able to retain our rank.

The days which would follow would be the most difficult. We had to live on my Social Security income. Sue had to wait another two years before becoming eligible for hers. She was not eligible for Disability as she had not paid into the Social Security fund for several years (in the SA all income is paid to the husband so the wife is not on the SS 'radar' as having worked)

In January of 2010 she suffered a major stroke accompanied by deep depression and  the doctors did not think she would survive. She did, however, and after two months in the hospital she finally was able to come home. Sadly, there was more brain damage, this time to the left and right rear brain area.

Sue was unable to dress herself or bathe. She could not speak intelligibly and spent most of her days in bed. Often she would cry and muster up the words, "not getting better". She could not walk without assistance.

This would continue for another year. It was most difficult, mostly for her of course, but the children and grandchildren felt the effects also.

We were both devastated during these tough days. God seemed far away.

Little did we know that a miracle was on the way. 

In January of 2012 Sue began asking me to bring her into the living room where she sat quietly watching the television. Hours and hours of television. After about a month she began talking again, occasionally making two or three word comments about the TV shows. After some more time passed she would produce a laugh when something humorous was said. Soon she would begin walking better and eventually would be able to get up and walk on her own with me closely following. The steps were small and, at first amounted to a shuffle.

More words came. I got her a wheelchair and began taking her to visit the nearby children and grandchildren While visiting she sat quietly taking it all in and smiling every now and then when the grands would do or say something funny.

Her progress continued and today she walks slowly, but confidently. Eventually she began dressing herself and, when I get her in the 'tub', she has now begun to wash herself. Her use of words have increased and she engages in short 'banter' with those around. She laughs frequently. Her demeanor is childlike  but her mind is quick and she does not seem to have much memory loss, although some periods of life have been erased.

She is pleasant and tells me she is happy. She has come a long way.

Well, the point of writing all of this is to let my friends know that whatever health challenges you face, be patient. God is good and He is faithful. In His own time, God will accomplish great things for you.

Yes, our faith has been challenged! I have experienced some bitterness over it all, especially as it regards the loss of our ministry in The Salvation Army. I wish that things could have been different, but they are what they are!

I have come a long way also. I have seen, little by little, the faithfulness of a loving God who always cares for His own. During this time I have discovered that I, also, was in need of healing. Illness rarely effects just one individual.

Today, I rejoice in my wife and her progress. She is a 'different person' in many ways but she is still the wonderful girl I married over 46 years ago. I love her more deeply than ever. I am excited about future days and look forward to seeing even more progress in her health. From time to time I still shed a tear, but our loving Father draws close and assures us of His faithfulness.

A few years ago, I visited with Commissioner Andy Miller and his wife Joan at the nursing home
he lived in. They have long been special friends. Before leaving, he asked me to pray. During the course of that prayer I said, " I thank you, Lord for our faith and for our ministry. Who knows where any of us might be were it not for God and The Salvation Army." I repeat that portion of the prayer every day. God has taken us to wonderful places in ministry and always been with us when we have walked through the dark valley. He is with us today! He still performs miracles!

"All things work together for good, to those who love God and are called according to His purpose."